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Don't make me smile

王悦 2012-09-20 天之聪教育 1077次

 喜欢Barbara Park的作品,不仅因为她作为成年人,能够以孩童的视角洞察被大人忽略的情感,还因为作品中充满童趣。当然,英文表达比较简单,也是重要原因之一。下面这段摘自她的“Don't make me smile"一书,是讲述一个十一的岁男孩父母离婚以后,心里成长过程。试着将其翻译过来,权当练手,希望没把韩老师教的忘光,也欢迎各位同学指正。


   

连载(一)

THERE ARE certain things never forget. I’m not sure why that is. But I know it’s true. For example, no matter how old I get, I’ll never forget the first time I was in a school program.
有些事令人永远难忘。我不知道为什么这样,但我知道,这是真的。比如说,我到死都不会忘记,我第一次参加学校活动中的情况。

I was in the first-grade chorus. And since I was a very short first grader, I got to stand in the front row where everyone could see me.
那时我在一年级演唱组。因为我个子矮,又是一年级的。所以就把我安排在第一排。

Boy, I really thought I was hot stuff, too. I stood up there and sang my guts out. I even used my hands the way the singers on television do.
真带劲。我也觉得自己挺能耐了。我就站在那,卖力地唱起来。唱的时候居然还用上了从电视上学到的手势。

When it was all over, the audience started clapping like crazy. It made me feel great. I must have bowed about two hundred times. Even while we were walking back to the room, I was still bowing.
等到演唱结束,观众们开始起劲地鼓掌。这让我感觉特爽。我卖力地鞠躬谢幕,不知道有多少次。一直到我们回到休息室,我都还在鞠躬。

I love going back to the room after a school program. You always get to horse around with the other kids until your parents come pick you up. The teacher tells you to calm down, but at night she doesn’t really care. She only gets paid to keep you calm during the day.
我特喜欢活动结束以后回休息室。和别的孩子打打闹闹等着父母来接。老师总是会让我们老实点。但她管得了一时,可管不了一世。晚上回家她就没辙了。

Pretty soon, I saw my mother hurrying in the door. She was walking so fast, my father couldn’t keep up with her. I could tell she was pretty excited about my performance.
很快,我就看到老妈走进来。她走得特快,我老爸都跟不上。看来她对我的表现是真激动啊。

Wow! I said to myself. I must have been even better than I thought. My mother looks like she wants my autograph or something!
哇卡卡。我心想,看来我肯定表现得太棒了,我老妈那样子貌似是急着让我来签名啊!

As soon as she spotted me, Mom ran over and bent down beside me. I closed my eyes and got ready for one of her big fat kisses. But instead, she leaned over and whispered,” Charles, your zipper was down.”
老妈一瞅着我,就跑过来在我身边蹲下。我闭上眼睛,准备迎接她的肥吻。可是,没有。她只是靠近我,小声说:“查理,你的拉链没拉上。”

I looked down to see. And there, sticking out of my navy blue pants, was this big fat wad of underwear all bunched up in my zipper.
我赶紧向下看去。深蓝的裤子上面,拉链大敞,里面露出一大截内裤。

All I could think of was how stupid I must have looked on stage in front of all those people! How can you look like a big singing star with a bunch of underwear hanging out of your pants?
真要命。我满脑子想的都是,刚才站在第一排,众目睽睽之下,自我感觉良好,这有多傻啊!你看哪个天皇巨星站在台上唱歌,露着一堆皱巴巴的内裤啊?

So I started to cry.
这让我无法接受,大哭起来。

Okay, I know that there are a lot of first graders who wouldn’t have cared one bit. They would have just zipped up and forgotten all about it. But that’s not the kind of kid I am. To me, underwear is real private stuff. I don’t even like my cat to see me in it.
就算我知道许多一年级学生并不太在意这种事。如果搁他们身上,很可能会拉上拉链,该干嘛干嘛。但我可不是那样的人。我把内裤看做很私密的东西,绝不让外人随便看到。

After I fastened my zipper, I started yelling at my mother. Anytime you are upset, you are supposed to yell at your mother. They expect it. It's part of their job.
我拉上拉链,开始冲我妈嚷嚷。但凡你觉得不爽,只管跟妈妈喊。这是她们该得的,这种事,她们就得接着。

“It’s all your fault!” I said. “You’re the one who made me so short.”
我冲我妈喊:“都怪你!谁让你把我生得这么矮!“

Mom tried to quiet me down. A couple of the other parents who had come in began to stare. Meanwhile, my father started looking around the room, pretending he didn’t know me.
进来的几个家长已经开始看热闹了,我妈只好安慰我。这时,我老爸开始环顾四周,假装不认识我。

“Shh!” said my mother. “you don’t have to shout, Charlie. And besides, what in the world does being short have to do with your flying being down?”
老妈说:“嘘。查理,你不要喊。再说了,你长得矮跟裤门没拉上有什么关系呀?“

“Well, if you didn’t make me so short, I would never have had to stand in the front row,” I said. “ And if I wasn’t in the front row, no one would have seen that my zipper was down.”
我恼火地抢白她:“如果不是你把我生这么矮,我能站第一排吗?如果我不站第一排,能有人看见我拉链没拉上吗?“

I guess I shouldn’t have been talking so loud. Benjamin Fowler’s parents started to laugh. My father left the room and headed for the car.
我真不应该说得那么大声。本杰明。福勒的父母开始忍不住笑起来。我老爸也掉头往外,朝着车子方向走去。

“Charles, please,” said Mom as she hurried me out the door.“I’m sorry you’re so upset about this. But I don’t think it’s fair to blame me just because you forgot to zip your fly.”
老妈一边把我弄出去,一边说:“查理。你这么难受我也很难过。但是,不能因为你忘了关裤门就指责我,这样不公平。”

“And stop calling it my fly!” I yelled.
我向她吼着:“别总管拉链叫裤门。”

Fly. Isn’t that just about the stupidest name you’ve ever heard for a zipper?
你还听过比这更傻的叫法吗?

My parents finally took me home and put me to bed. Before my father turned out the light, he gave me a little talk on zippers. He told me that being caught with your zipper down is just part of wearing pants. He also told me I would get used to it.
最后他们把我带回家,弄上床。老爸熄灯前,跟我说了几句拉链的事。他说穿裤装难免有这样的尴尬,让我不要太在意,以后会习惯的。

Well, he was wrong. I’m almost eleven years old now, and I’m still not used to it.
什么呀,净瞎说。我都快十一岁了,从来都没习惯过这样的事。

My mother says it’s because I’m too sensitive.
我老妈接碴说我太敏感了。

Sensitive means that certain things bother you a lot more than they bother most people. For instance, whenever our family watches a real bad movie on TV, I’m always the first one to start blubbering. I try not to. But just when I think I’ve got myself under control, someone in the movie goes and dies. That’s when the blubbering starts.
我知道,她所说的敏感是指同样一件事,对我来说是大事,而对大多数人来说,就不算事。比如说吧。只要我们家人 在一起看电视,就是情节特惨那种,我肯定是那第一个痛哭流涕的。我也不想啊,但是每次我刚能忍住的时候,戏里就有人走了或者死了。真可怜,你说我能不哭吗?

Sensitive also means that you get your feelings hurt easily. I know this is true about myself. Sometimes, my feelings can get crushed over the least little thing. In fact, it just happened again a few weeks ago.
这个敏感也是指感情更容易受伤害。我自己知道这个毛病。有时候,一丁点小事就会让我受不了。实际上,几星期前就发生过这样的事。

It was my father’s birthday. And if there’s one thing around our house I love, it’s birthdays.
那是我老爸的生日。在我家,只要有人过生日,我就特开心。

But this particular birthday was going to be even more special than any other. For the first time ever, I was going to get to buy Dad a present totally on my own. My mother said I could even keep it a surprise from her.
但我爸这个生日和别的还不一样。为什么呢?因为我头一次可以完全自已做主给他挑选生日礼物。多带劲呀。我妈说我都可以不告诉她买的什么礼物。

A few days before the big event, she drove me to the shopping center to buy his gift. She waited in the car while I ran it to get it. It didn’t take long at all. I knew exactly what I wanted.
在那之前好几天,老妈带我到购物中心买礼物。我自己进去挑,老妈在车上等。其实根本用不了几分钟,我早就想好要买什么了。

As soon as I got it home, I ran to my room to wrap it. I was afraid if I didn’t wrap it right away, my mother might look in the box while I was in school. I don’t mean to make Mom sound like a sneak or anything. But sometimes it’s better not to test her.
我一到家就跑回自己屋里包礼物。我担心如果不马上包好,在我上学的时候,老妈会往盒子里看。我倒不是说,我老妈爱偷看什么的。不过,即使这样,还是别考验她为好。

I really can’t explain why I wanted to keep this whole thing such a secret. I guess it jut made it more special that way.
我也说不清干嘛整得这么神神秘秘的。可能就是想配合那天的氛围,弄得更特别一点吧。

Anyway, when my father’s birthday finally came, I couldn’t wait for him to open my gift. When he started to unwrap it, my heart began to beat very fast. I felt kind of dumb getting so excited about it. But I just couldn’t help myself.
终于盼到老爸生日那天,我都等不及看他拆礼物了。在他开始拆的时候,我的心跳得超快。其实这么激动挺丢脸的,干嘛呀,至于吗?但我就是控制不住。

Slowly, Dad lifted the lid of the box and peeked under the tissue paper.
老爸提起礼物盒盖,朝包装纸下面看。

I knew right away that I was in trouble.
我马上知道完蛋了。

“Oh, wow. Look at this,” he said. “ Gee whiz, Charlie. This is just great.”
老爸说:“啊噢。看看这东西。”“哎呀,查理,这真太棒了。”

He didn’t fool me a bit. Whenever someone opens a present and says, “Oh, wow. Look at this,” it only means one thing. They don’t know whit it is.
他唬不了我。我知道,当人们打开礼物时,如果说:“啊噢。看看这东西。”那就只能说明一件事——他们不知道那是什么礼物。

Think about it. What do you say when you open up a new shirt? Simple. You say, “Oh, wow. A new shirt.” And when you open up a new game, you say, “Oh, wow. A new game.” But if you’re not exactly sure what it is you ‘re looking at, that’s when you say, “Oh, wow. Look at this.”
你想啊。如果打开是一件衬衫,你会怎么说?很简单。你肯定说:“啊噢。一件新衬衫。“如果你的礼物是一个电子游戏,你肯定说:”啊噢。是个新游戏。“但是如果你不确定那个礼物是什么,你就会说:“啊噢。看看这东西。”

My father took his present out of the box and began examining it more carefully. He was trying his best to figure out what it was.
老爸从盒子里拿出礼物仔细看。他极力想弄明白那到底是什么。

Finally, he unfolded it and put his hand inside.“Oh,boy. I’ve always wanted one of these,” he said.
最后,他把礼物展开,把手伸进去,说:“噢,好,我一直就想要这么个礼物。

It was so embarrassing I couldn’t stand it.
这让我觉得实在太丢脸了。

“It doesn’t go on your hand, Dad,” I said at last. “It goes on your head. It’s a chef’s hat. You’re supposed to wear it outside when you barbecue.”
我只得说:“爸,那不是戴手上的,是戴头上的。这是顶厨师帽。我是想让你在外面烧烤的时候戴的。”

Dad laughed. “Oh, right! A chef’s hat! Of course! A chef’s hat!” he said.
老爸笑了,说:“噢,对!是厨师帽!就是!是顶厨师帽!”

 He put it on his head. “Just call me Chef Boyardee!’ He said in this ridiculous Italian accent.
 他把帽子戴在头上,用那种可笑的意大利口音说:“以后就管我叫柏亚迪厨师(美籍意大利人,听装意大利食品的创始人,所售听装意大利食品享誉全球)吧。”

 By then, my mother was laughing, too.
 此时,老妈也跟着笑起来。

I wasn’t laughing at all. The reason I wasn’t laughing was simple. It was not supposed to be a funny gift. If I had wanted to get a funny gift, I would have bought rubber vomit.
我根本笑不出来。原因很简单,我压根儿就没想送件逗笑的礼物。如果是那种礼物,我干脆选个橡胶呕吐物什么的算了。

Anyway, by this time I guess my father could see that my feelings were hurt. He took off the hat and stopped clowning around.
He came over and hugged me. “Thanks a lot, Charlie,” he said.” I really do like it. As a matter of fact, I think I’ll barbecue tonight so I can wear it right away.”
还是老爸看出我表情不对。他不再洋相四出,而是摘下帽子,走过来,抱住我说:“谢谢,儿子。我真的,真的非常喜欢这个礼物。其实我今天晚上就要给你们做顿烧烤,这样我就可以马上戴着它干活了。”

“Yeah, sure, Dad,” I answered, trying to act cool. But inside, I felt awful.
我装作无所谓,嘴上说:“嗯,好。”其实心里非常难受。

Since then, my father’s worn the chef’s hat two or three times, probably. But I’m pretty sure he only put it on when he thought I was watching.
打那以后,我爸戴过那个厨师帽两、三次吧。但是我知道,他都是在以为我看着他的时候,才戴上。

And if that’s true, I guess I won’t be seeing him wear it very much around her anymore.
如果我的感觉是准的。那我猜他以后都不太用戴那顶帽子了。

Because two weeks after his birthday, my father moved out of the house.
因为老爸在他生日两周后,搬出了我们家。

He and my mother are getting a divorce.
他和我妈离婚了。

Divorce.To me, that word never really meant much. I think it's one of those words like death. You know that it happens to a lot of people,but as long as it's not you, you don't pay much attention.

要我说“离婚”这个词,以前对我来说,没有太大意义。我把它和“死亡”什么的看成是一类。大家都知道,这类事可能很多人都经历过,但只要不发生在你身上,你根本就没感觉。 

As a matter of fact, i don't ever remember seeing divorce speelled before. I'm positive it's never been on any of my spelling lists at school. Come to think of it, neither has death. I guess you're supposed to learn how to spell to spell all the sad words on your own.
事实上,我以前从来没想过这事会落在我头上,就好像“死亡”这事和我无关一样。这些令人痛苦的词,在学校根本学不到。我猜,只有亲身经历,才能懂得其中的滋味。

I looked it up in my dictionary. It said: divorce/1. a complete legal breaking up of a marriage. 2. complete separation.
我查了一下字典。上面说“离婚”包括两个意思:一是,合法地解除婚姻。二是,长久分居而不可复合。

Well, that may be what the dictionary thinks divorce is, but I'll tell you what it really is.
字典上也许是这么写的,但我对于离婚这事却令有体会。

Divorce is like watching your parents back the car over your brand-new bicycle. You can see what's about to happen, but the car is already moving.
要我说,离婚就像是眼看着你父母倒车碾过你的新自行车。你明明看到了,车子已经开始启动。

You shout, "STOP!STOP!"But no one hears you. So you just sta  nd there and watch the tires of the car crush your bike as flat as a pancake. And you get this terrible,sick feeling inside you, like you're going to throw up or faint or something.
你大声喊:“停!停!”但没人听你的。你只能站在那,眼瞅着车轮在你的自行车上碾过,轧成薄饼。你心里充满害怕、恶心,好像马上就要虚脱、晕倒什么的。

You cry, but it doesn't help. Your parents say they're sorry, but that doesn't help, either.
你哭闹、大叫,都没用。你父母说(轧到你车了),很抱歉,但那有什么用呀?

Nothing helps.
啥都没用。

It's all smashed to pieces, and it will never be the same.
自行车碾成了碎片,关键是再也不能恢复原样了。

That's divorce.
这就是离婚,离婚就这样。

学员:王悦
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